I have an average memory. But I’m always looking to improve. So when my son suggested I read Joshua Foer’s New York Times bestseller “Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything,” I was intrigued.
It was a fascinating book, largely because it told the story of the author’s yearlong journey from someone with an average memory to sitting at the finals table of the USA Memory Championship.
Interestingly, I found several important negotiation lessons in it, each of which will help improve your memory and lead to more effective negotiations.
1. Practice. Practice. Practice. But do it right.
Foer concludes that:
“The most important lesson I took away from my year on the competitive memory circuit was not the secret to learning poetry by heart, but rather something far more global and, in a way, far more likely to be of service in my life. My experience had validated the old saw that practice makes perfect. But only if it’s the right kind of concentrated, self-conscious, deliberate practice. I’d learned firsthand that with focus, motivation, and, above all, time, the mind can be trained to do extraordinary things. This was a tremendously empowering discovery.”
The best negotiators in the world spend the time to practice their negotiations before “game time.” No one can anticipate everything. But studying and preparing and practicing in advance of sitting at the table and doing it – especially when the stakes are high – will pay huge dividends.
2. Intensely focus and concentrate
We’ve all heard the phrase “in one ear and out the other” as reflecting the tendency to almost immediately forget what we just heard. This is the exact opposite. To remember anything – and to effectively negotiate – you must focus, concentrate, be intentional, and deeply listen to others and be aware of your environment.
This laser-like level of alertness and conscious mindfulness is not easy. But it’s essential.
Here’s how Foer describes it:
“What I had really trained my brain to do, as much as to memorize, was to be more mindful, and to pay attention to the world around me. Remembering can only happen if you decide to take notice.”
I’ve noticed this in my own life, and I suspect you have, too.
3. Developing true expertise requires feedback and failure
Foer consulted in his journey with the internationally recognized psychologist K. Anders Ericsson, a researcher in the nature and acquisition of expertise and the one who concluded that achieving true expertise takes around 10,000 hours of “deliberate practice.”
A major part of this process involves pushing hard against your boundaries, sometimes failing, and analyzing and learning from your experiences. Foer applied this to his memory practice.
This is also why it’s so crucial to debrief after your significant negotiations. Identify what worked, what didn’t work, and how you can change and improve next time.
Latz’s Lesson: Close your eyes and visualize a crazy image of your mom intensely concentrating on something she loves to do (practice) and then telling you how she messed it up (debriefing). You will then remember this image and these lessons.
* Marty Latz is the founder of Latz Negotiation, a national negotiation training and consulting company that helps individuals and organizations achieve better results with best practices based on the experts’ research. He can be reached at 480.951.3222 or Marty@LatzNegotiation.com.