To conclude my trilogy of blog posts about negotiation styles, here are my Top Seven Characteristics of Conflict Avoiders:
1. Strong need to avoid conflict, especially open conflict
2. Belief that almost all conflict is unproductive
3. Extremely uncomfortable with emotional conflict
4. High skill level at avoiding answering questions
5. High skill level at avoiding addressing undesirable issues
6. Rarely will overtly control the agenda
7. Can appear aloof and uninterested as they rarely engage in negotiations involving conflict
If you recognize your counterpart is a conflict avoider, how should you proceed? First, be patient because it will take more time and effort to fully explore conflict-related issues. Second, stay focused on your goal because it’s easy to get off track when your counterpart is skillful at avoiding issues. Finally, aggressively probe their interests. Find out what your counterpart wants and needs, keeping in mind they may try to hide these if they believe discussing them will lead to conflict.
Hi, I came here as someone who recognizes that I have a tendency to be a conflict avoider and was hoping to find advice or strategies to protect myself from the negative potential results of that personality trait.
Just ended a 12 year relationship w a conflict avoidant. His avoidance and the lies that came with that trait destroyed my ability to trust him.
That certainly can be problem MM. At least now you’ll be able to conflict avoiders in the future. Thank you for your comment.